Add Joy Counseling

If you have never sought counseling before, the process may seem mysterious, or even a little frightening at first.  People aren’t always sure what to do or say, but they often know what they want as an end result.  Having the goal or end result in mind is important.  Your therapist will ask you about this.

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You will be asked to fill out some paperwork that fulfills legal, and in some cases, insurance requirements, and which gives the therapist a little background on your situation. 

 

Many people read something, see a video, or hear a podcast about a particular therapeutic technique, and become fixated on finding a therapist who practices that technique.  Research on therapeutic efficacy over decades has shown that there are more important characteristics of good therapy than techniques.  The client’s connection to the therapist is most important.  The therapist’s belief that you can get better, overcome your marital bumps, or that your family can function in a way that supports its members rather than being a source of distress is also important.  The therapist’s ability to supply what the client needs in a session or in a moment is more important than the therapist mechanically applying only one technique.  A technique that is usually very helpful to trauma survivors for example, is EMDR.  Yet even if EMDR is the primary modality, the therapist will likely process the client’s experience with them in addition to just applying EMDR. Therapy is an active, participatory process. The therapist does not apply a technique while the client sits passively on the couch.  Clients will gain the most from therapy by being honest with the therapist, even if it is a little scary to be vulnerable, and by trying the activities that the therapist may ask the client to do. 

 

Good counseling will connect you with yourself, and empower you to describe your internal experience to others in a way that they can hear you.  You may become aware of beliefs you did not know are driving some of your life experience.  In sessions, we may explore patterns of behavior that are distressing to you, or which evoke negative reactions from others. Sometimes a therapist will give you “assignments” to try outside of the session.  The therapist may ask you to do something that feels awkward, such as talk to someone as if they were sitting in an empty chair facing you.  These activities are designed to cause you to experience yourself or your relationship in a different way.  The therapist may teach concepts or re-phrase your experience to you in a way that really clarifies it for you. 

 

Some people grew up in social situations that discouraged open discussion of feelings or internal experience.  If this is true for you, you may not even have words to describe your feelings. Learning what you are feeling when something triggers you, naming the feeling, and describing it to others is empowering.

 

Therapy almost always does involve digging into the client’s feelings, and some people are uncomfortable with that, but it is necessary.  Feelings inform you.  If you have ignored them or brushed them aside for long periods of time, you become disconnected from self, and from your own agency in the world.  Whenever you feel resistance to the therapy process, it's an opportunity to uncover blocks to your happiness. That being said, it is not therapeutic to re-traumatize a client who has, for example, experienced a history of extreme child abuse.  In such cases, know that your trauma feelings will be respected, and we will build feelings of safety rather than just reliving a scary past.  You hold the key to open a door to a brighter, happier, more connected life. If you are ready to open it, call 503-537-8435 to set an appointment.